You can do your own urine test on your back porch.

1. If you pee on your feet, you got prostrate problems.

2. If ants get in your pee, you got diabetes.

3. If your pecker is still out when you walk back in, you got dementia.
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"Filet that fish? Hell naw! I'll scale him, gut him, fry him up in grease, take him by the head and tail, and play him like a French Harp!" - Uncle Paul sometime in the 60s.